Friday, January 18, 2013

Movement-Forward

This week has continued to be productive.  I have taken two loads to the thrift store.  Yesterday's took up half their conveyor belt.  I hate to think I am on a first name basis with the guy who sorts the stuff. One lady brought in a small bag and looks at the belt and says "oh someone is cleaning house!"  Um, yah.

And I still have a ton of stuff.  Eldest son says "the pile has dropped at least 2 feet!"  He is right.  I don't know what the fine line between too much junk and hoarding is but I am hoping I can say I haven't passed that line.  There isn't dirty dishes, cat poop, moldy food laying around.  But there is just piles of stuff I have bought at yard sales, the same thrift store I'm hauling it all back to (on their 50% off everything sales), some of the price tags still on it.

I had planned on reselling it all.  I had an etsy store and put it on there in increments.  But when it takes a year to sell something and then I have to spend two days LOOKING for it I decided I just cannot do this anymore and closed the store.  Now most that stuff isn't even here anymore.

Yesterday I put three things on eBay for the first time in forever!  All have watchers.  I hope they sell.  If not they too will be packed up and donated.  At first I thought I'll give each item two listing max before I dump but now it is one.  You don't go you are out of here.  I am hoping to help raise money for my kitchen.

I also came across the book "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Big" LOL.  I totally forgot I had that one and it deserves a read, because YES clutter does make your butt big.  If you can't cook a decent meal and eat only garbage if you are like me there she blows.   I get no sympathy from my husband though as all he eats is junk food and  never gains an ounce.  Anyway, read it and then  pass it on to bless someone else.

Today I would like to tackle my books and model horses.  The horses will get boxed up in tubs and the books stacked to be gone through and donate.  I tried to do this yesterday but was so burned out from the week I took a partial break.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day Off

Today I took a break from shoveling.  Yesterday I started getting into my danger zones and instead of pitching or deciding I was looking.  I knew then it was time to quit for the day.  I did get two more small bags and a box of stuff together and while I was out today I took them to a Goodwill.   Spread the love, LOL.

I bought two totes, the last two totes I am going to buy.  If I want more totes I am going to have to empty one from now on.  These two are to separate my art supplies and stationery supplies.  Then when I am done I will go through and give away or sell what I know I am not going to use like that resin casting kit for jewelry.  I love it but I am never going to do it.  Or at least now now.  Let someone else have it.

I probably won't get much done tomorrow either as I don't do well with husband home.  Oh well, Tuesday is another day (I work Monday and that is enough for one day).  We will see though.  Even God took a day off, right?

Friday, January 11, 2013

Reclaiming

Youngest son and I had an interesting conversation the other day.  Not a surprising one for me as I kind of figured this anyway but it still was interesting and concerned him a little.

He says everyone (husband, other son, other son's girlfriend, etc.) talks about me behind my back about the mess I have in the living room and back bedroom.  I suspected this but had no proof and really, it is their problem, not mine.  My husband likes to blame everyone else but himself for anything.  He once blamed the cat for the car not starting.  Anyway I told him I already figured this.  Son feels he needs to defend me so he told them I appear more messy because it is in your face when you step into the house.  But what they see is all I have.

What they don't see, the two barns, three sheds, four junk vehicles behind the barn, the house basement, the 2 acres of land in front of the house, the whole driveway ringed with his crap he drags home, stuff I cannot lift to move or get rid of it is too large.  What husband has is 100x more than I have.

What do I have outside?  My bike, garden stuff, a trash can for animal feed, a rabbit, chickens in a coop and fence, two chairs on the porch.  But it was good to hear this because I blame myself for it all!  I assured son that I am aware and I just don't care anymore.  They can talk all they want but if they are not apart of the solution they are apart of the PROBLEM.  I hope he knows how much I appreciate his help.  His presence helps balance out a really unbalanced situation here.  I will be sorry to see him go back to school but know I cannot rely on him to get me through this.  But sometimes it is just nice to hear "good job!" rather than this undercurrent of sabotage.

This is why the discovery of all husband's stuff in the living room was so freeing for me.  I take the blame of everyone but it is not all mine.  My failure is in keeping it picked up if that is even my responsibility.

What I am finding though is the more I get out of here the worse husband is getting towards me.  Not physically or even verbally but in subtle ways like dragging mud through the house, leaving his smelly cow  gloves laying around stinking the house up, getting upset with me because I took his four years of newspapers and ran them through the burn barrel rather than the woodboiler.  Little things like that.  Mind you, I am not tossing his stuff but for the old papers and some rusty bolts that he torched off something, empty boxes, holey socks etc.  No, I am stacking and boxing up his stuff so he can go through it himself.   In the past I have become so overwhelmed and his attitude towards me when I start making headway has totally discouraged me.   But this time his attitude is not going to sway me.  I am reclaiming my place in this world one room at a time!

Peace and Love

I am having a difficult time getting around the web these days due to one son's girlfriend thinking  my satellite works like her ever flowing cable at school and she has sucked all my bandwidth making it near impossible to do anything online.  Despite trying to explain it to her she thinks tomorrow it will be better and she can finish downloading her Rosetta Stone.  I have learned how to unplug the wi-fi.

But I digress.  Son and I have put a big dent in my mess.  I have discovered that a good portion of it is not my stuff but husbands!  No surprise there.  He has several barns, sheds, the basement, the 2 acres out front, some behind the barn all junked up with his treasures he drags home from work.  But I have now covered and surrounded the sofa with his stuff, tools, clothes, books, catalogs, calendar, seven empty gun cases (!!-so we have seven guns????) etc. etc. etc.

I have made three trips to the thrift store with stuff.  I am reading slow and steady but right now I can put a huge dent in things because this is all stuff I bought to resell online. Some has never been unboxed from the thrift store/yard sale I got it from so I don't even look, I just reload it back into the car and take it back.

I have a table with things I am listing to eBay.  If not listed by Feb. 1st or sold in two listings it is gone.  I am going to start them all at .99 and donate the money to my friend who does wildlife rehab.

I brought all this stuff home when I was in a really bad place in my life.  I just wanted out of here but didn't have the money to do it.  So I allotted x-amount to use to buy this stuff to resell to help raise that money.  That worked as long as I wanted to wait forever.  Some stuff I have had listed for over a year and it will finally sell.  I just do not have the place to store it all and just sick of it anyway.  Additionally I am reclaiming back my soul and instead of running I am taking my house and life back.  Time to quit letting my husband walk all over me and dictate my life.

SO...I have decided on my kitchen arrangement and flooring.  I have no kitchen, 17 years of three mismatched salvaged countertops on 2x4's and subflooring I cannot clean unless I scrub it on hands and knees.  Enough is ENOUGH!  I cannot live like this anymore.  No one comes to see us because the place is such a dive and it shouldn't be.  Just because one of us doesn't care and the other is waiting for him to care...enough!!  I'll be dead first.

So yes, hundreds of useless things out of here to bless someone else.  It is going to start getting hard before too long and I am preparing for that.  That is when I will slow down to really having to analyze and deal with my emotions.  As I can see, it is emotional now and not in a good way.  I hope it starts to bring peace and love which is all I want anyway.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

In the Beginning

Between yesterday and today I got 100 items out of the house and to the thrift store.  Tomorrow I will find 100 things to throw away.  Then next week start over but perhaps make it  50 items to haul out to the thrift store.  We will see how it goes.

Just this stuff is making a difference.  It is pretty exciting to see spaces open up.  I just need to keep going and not poop out :).

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

First Challenge

Today I start my first challenge and that is to take 100 items to the thrift store.  I thought oh easy peasy but now I am up to 30 (34 really but I'm counting some books as one) and already getting into the "oh I can resell this" or "it is too cute" mode.  No no no!  I see more I can take and will bag them up yet.  I'd like to get 50 out today since I have to go to town anyway.

I sold a model horse on eBay too so she is leaving.   She doesn't count though as she isn't going to the thrift store :).

Sit down break then back at it.  I spot more I can bag :P.

A New Year

Rather than come up with resolutions and "goals" that I just never seem to be able to obtain I have gone with a word for 2013, Breathe.

Breathe encompasses everything I need in my life.  Quell anger, declutter, lose weight.  All these affect breathing.  So that is the word.

Some goals of this blog are to record my decluttering, house renovations, working with my animals, my art, losing weight/getting in shape.  I plan to put my list on the side and see how many I can obtain.   What I can't can get dropped or go on next year's list.

What is your word for 2013 and why?  I am curious???